It's a fact that broadcasters are moving to reduce the credit sequences on documentaries. In some places, the thirty seconds barely adequate to acknowledge the invaluable contributions of institutions, the hard work of volunteers and the dedication and creativity of professionals have been cut to just fifteen. One respected network that shall remain nameless almost caused a revolt when its bean counters and ratings gnomes suggested the unthinkable: That the end of a programme merely feature a URL to direct the curious to a web site where the roll of honour can be found. In case that woeful triumph of commerce over due credit should happen in the case of our film, I have taken the inscription on Annie Eliza Ellis's Raine Island gravestone to heart: "Reader! Be Ye Also Ready."

Herein lie the essential facts about our intrepid crew.

Jeremy Hogarth, Producer/Director
Jeremy's mother raised him single handedly through the fifties and sixties, probably a tougher assignment than anything she faced behind enemy lines with the French Resistance in WWII. Outwardly British, that is to say polite and well spoken, Jeremy has the countenance, heart and soul of an Irishman, which is to say, sensitivity, compassion, and bloody-minded directness. Passionate about film making, naturally averse to anyone in authority, meaning at times, himself. You can just see Jeremy sipping Irish whiskey and philosophising about mans inhumanity to man, while molding plastic explosive.

Hannah Smith, Researcher, TV Intern
A student of the NHNZ/University of Otago Natural History Filmmaking course, Hannah surprised Jeremy and I early on with her maturity and diligence. I think she's just overcompensating for being from Oklahoma. Then upon seeing how good her student film was, we decided the only way to stop her from taking our jobs was to invite her along on this shoot and contrive an unfortunate accident. We're no fools though, we're waiting until the last possible moment so she can contribute all she can to our film. The only thing holding Hannah back is that she looks so much younger than 25. Just wait until she discovers what an asset that can be.

Marcus Oke, Skipper
Everything a good skipper should be: Quiet, competent, and knows and loves his boat. I hate to think what he really thinks of this untidy bunch of TV types and the mess we're making of his beautiful vessel. Actually, I have an inkling, and am glad they've outlawed keelhauling in these waters. I find it hard to describe his Queensland accent, but his appearance is easier to describe: Medium build, tanned, blue eyed and hirsute.

Gordon Oke, Skipper's Dad
Being offered an early morning cup of coffee by a pyjama-clad Aussie gent should be part of every marine charter experience. A pioneer of the Australian dive scene and one of Cairns' first dive charter and aquarium operators, Gordon has earned himself a retirement out of Queensland's hot sun. Instead, he shares the watches aboard Floreat with Marcus, and makes amateur underwater videos. Amateur only in the sense that he's not making a living out of it. Some of the footage in Gordon's home movie on Raine Island had me wishing it was on digibeta format so I could buy it for our film.

Sherri Stewart, Cook
This woman is crucial to the well being of everyone aboard. With life jackets, plenty of bait, and camera instruction manuals aboard, no-one on this boat is indispensable but for Sherri. Like the drink, sometimes sweet, sometimes dry. Suntanned, single and fancy-free, and that's just the way she likes it. Great expedition cook. It's not just the food, but the logistics involved that impress you. Over three weeks at sea in a tiny galley, Sherri's fare is neither dull nor repetitive. She also has a wonderful love of all music, including Blues and Bluegrass. You have to love that in a woman.

Richard Fitzpatrick, Cameraman, Marine Biologist
You'd think that constantly travelling the world as an in demand underwater cameraman specializing in sharks should make you rich, famous and put you in some glossy magazine, surrounded by bikini babes and sports watches. All it's given Richard are slumped shoulders and several years' sleep debt. There are plenty of attention-seeking shark-shooting wannabes out there, pumped up on adrenaline and testosterone, but Richard is the real deal, fueled by a couple of fried eggs and a can of coke, and either too busy or two tired for the limelight. You get a glimpse of his strong sense of purpose when he gives orders for carrying his gear or baiting sharks, but you're more likely to see him falling asleep in a chair in front of a rented movie. The fame and sports watches may yet come. There are rumours of an interview with a glossy ladies magazine. I hope he gets some shuteye before the photoshoot.

Paul Sutherland, Photographer
A mind as fast as a shutter snap, a smile as bright and quick as a strobe flash, and a mouth like a motor drive. How does Paul make a living from selling photos? Volume. That's right. Paul talks louder than anyone else in the business. Here's a clue to this character: When this gig's over, he and his wife are off to Queenstown, New Zealand, the home of bungy jumping, the place that promotes itself as the "Adventure Capitol of the World", to - get this - "chill out". If I were one of Paul's sponsors, I would make very sure that my product was the finest, most robust, toughest gear in the world, or he will find out. Otherwise, I'd save time and just put him on the payroll as part of the destructive testing department.

Ian Bell, Turtle Biologist
The Force is strong with this one. Just past his best-by date for a Cleo centerfold, Ian is ruggedly handsome like Mel Gibson, and topless ten times as often. It seems a shame to have him put on his parks uniform when on camera. Quick with a joke, and first to offer you a cold beer at the end of a day. Ian thoroughly knows his way around a turtle and is quick to call bullshit for what it is. Men want to be like him, women want to be with him. He offered me a cold beer for writing all that. Seriously though, Ian could have a great future in front of the TV cameras if only we could bend him to the dark side. But he's in it for the wildlife. I suspect Paul has already spoken to Ian about being his agent anyway.

Tim Schulz, Marine Volunteer
A future actor, slumming it as a marine biology student until he finds a good drama school. Has camp, lugubrious and bitchy routines down pat. Has a talent for making up obscene lyrics to pop songs you don't know the real title of, but have heard a thousand times. Could have a future in stage productions with parts for Pommie brats, remittance men or the young guy who the shark eats in the first act. I suspect Paul may be talking to him about representation already.

Helen Taylor, Marine Volunteer
How this lovely girl got involved with this wild bunch is a mystery. She should know better, but has fallen into the marine biology student/unpaid dive assist racket Richard operates. I hope she comes to her senses soon. Frequently exchanges massages with Richard. More frequently exchanges looks of youthful indulgence with Tim any time the greybeards of the expedition reminisce about the sixties or seventies.

Ashton Ward, Sound Operator/Musician
Man of mystery with headphones and a furry microphone on a long pole, there's a hint of naughty schoolboy about young Ash. There's also a hint of seasickness whenever the boat moves. Dedicated to the collection and creation of sounds, Ashton plays great guitar and operates his own commercial studio where musical elves churn out jingles. The mystery parts: For some reason, he hasn't slept in the same bunk twice in the whole trip. We're not sure what this means. Here's another strange thing: In really hot, sunny conditions, he wears his wife's air force volleyball shirt.

Jamie Seymour, Invertebrate Ecologist
Unshaven rather than bearded, overexposed rather than tanned. These are sure signs of dedication to biological science, fieldwork in particular. I'm not sure I've met anyone who laughs so much without being on drugs, but anyone who knows his Siphonophores from his Ascidians can't be on the hard stuff. Here to help Ian with some of his turtle research, Jamie is a serious jellyfish head. Many's the night we've come back late from filming on the island, when Jamie decides to stay up collecting jellyfish under the lights of the back deck. Known to subject himself to the agonizing and potentially deadly venom of the box jellyfish out of curiosity, this man truly deserves the title Scientist, closely followed by Lunatic.

Jules Bowett, Marine Volunteer
Jules replaced Jamie after he jumped ship to keep up his appearance as a serious academic and family man. With a degree in Environmental Toxicology and plenty of boat experience, straight away Jules started clearing the back deck of clutter and asking when the safety briefing was. The right woman for the right moment. The sort of blonde britbabe you could spend your life searching for in backpackers' hostels and night clubs. In our cabin, Jules' bunk is the tidy one. Ashton has already discovered this fact and snuck in for a nap when she was on deck. What is with that?

Adam Barnett, Dive Assist, Vulgar Boatman, Shark Catcher
Richard's right hand man, Adam sports three tattoos on his upper body: An American Indian horesman, that represents independence; a dagger and scorpion, that represents fortitiude, and three Chinese characters, that represent Spicy Peking Duck. On his calf is a hammerhead shark. I guess that is self explanatory. Once a skilled chef, Adam chucked it in because of the long hours, the niggardly pay, and the demanding people. Now he's studying marine biology and helping Richard, only the people have changed, possibly for the worse. With his wiry torso and shaven head poking up out of the hold, he does a very good Gollum impersonation. One tragic character flaw is his dislike of my Blues and Bluegrass CD's.

Clive Copeman, Writer/Producer
If I'm doing my job at all well, all you should notice is my credit at the end.